5 Basic Styles Of Tantrums

Each of these 5 types of tantrums are unique, exciting and can be dealt with systematically. Study your child and build a diary noting situations and reasons why they are frustrated. Once we could recognize what type of 'outburst' our kids were having, we were better able to deal with them and get to the heart of the matter.

During a full out toddler-fit, our children were never receptive to any instruction, so we needed a quick strategy specific to the type of tantrum for everyone's peace of mind. We hope this breakdown will help you as much as it has helped us with our kids.

"The Pushover"

This child will start with a soft whimpering cry fest

Affirm their feelings of frustrations

Their crying fit can be stopped virtually immediately

Firmly and lovingly inform them this behavior is unacceptable

"The Resilient"

This child will go on forever without missing a beat

They believe they are in charge,no talking/'reasoning' will work

Keep this child out of range of your wedding china

Remove them to a controlled time out and wait it out

"Drop, Lay, Roll"

This child will use tactics to show their disappointment

Silence or scowling behind crossed arms, collapsing down to the floor

Lying down in a fit, rolling around & screaming to get their way

Removal works great to calm down without entertaining everyone

Talk and reason with them only once they have cooled down

"The Deep Sea Diver"

This child is going for a new breath holding world record

They may add tightening and contorting their face & body

A frustration foot stomper, fists and teeth clencher

Quick claps to interrupt their fixation can 'snap' them out to re-focus

Never shake the deep sea diver, simply remove to cool off

"The Whining Pouter"

This child starts quickly with their 'whine-fest'

They expect you will buckle under their constant whining

Trust me on this one, you'll want to give in to them to make it stop

Move them out of ear shot & give some down time to calm down

If ever in doubt or frustrated with the tantrum and the situation, remove them into a controlled time out, wait until both of you are calm and then work it out.

When it is over, talk to them about what they were upset about, what attention behavior you would prefer and repeatedly let them know you love them but disapprove of their choice of behavior.

Return from Tantrums to Terrific Toddlers

Return to Family-Life-Parenting